Having made and promptly broken every resolution made for New Years in the past, I’m trying something different this year. I have decided to pick 2 keywords as my themes for the year which will hopefully guide my actions in the 12 months ahead.
The words I have chosen for 2015 are “create” and “giving”. I want to build up and not tear down. I would like to make something new, whether it is a new blog post, an article written out of my comfort zone, an e-book, or building a sense of community in my online and virtual worlds. I want to share my experiences more transparently and honestly in the hopes that even one reader will say to herself, “hey, I’m not alone feeling this way”. As I wrote in an earlier post, The Winning Ticket, I want to give back to my community, not keep taking from it. In terms of this blog, I want to create a safe place where we can exchange our stories freely, offer much needed emotional support to each other, and not worry if our stories do not resemble the”official” one of happy smiling pink-suited survivors.
As far as giving back or paying it forward, I would like to be even more candid about sharing my experiences with having triple negative breast cancer 4 Times. While I am not a doctor and can’t offer medical advice, I have almost 27 years of personal experience with this disease. I have gained a certain amount of knowledge about breast cancer and recurrences/new primaries as well as living with a BRCA1 positive gene during this time.
There was a recent post called Breast Cancer: It Is Going To Be A Bumpy Ride where I danced around the topic of whether or not I personally suffered from PTSD. Some readers figured it out while others didn’t. Yes, I have had depression, anxiety, panic attacks and flashbacks for years but was not properly diagnosed with PTSD until 6 weeks ago. Since then, a new medication has been added to my antidepressant and anti-anxiety cocktail and I am feeling lighter than I have in years. So why did I not just come out and say that in the post? Was I so afraid of labels about my mental health that I felt a need to detach myself from this particular diagnosis? If nothing else, I would like to turn my negative experiences into something positive that others can relate to and realize they are not alone. I have had the symptoms for PTSD for many years and now with the official diagnosis, it is finally being appropriately treated. I feel better! And that is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of for any cancer survivor.
I hope my themes work better than my resolutions ever did. What about you? Are you making New Year’s resolutions or goals or themes? Why or why not? If you are comfortable doing so, please share these or any other concerns in the comments.
Have a Happy healthy joyous 2015!
Together we can accomplish anything!
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Sharon Greene December 31, 2014
4 Times and Counting 